According to Merriam-Webster, a friend is one attached to another by affection or esteem. Acqaintance has several meanings as well but for purposes of what my mind has been turning over, the one that hits for me thru Merriam-Webster is a person one knows but is not a particularly close friend. I have been pondering as of late what “friend” means to me.
Only once in my life have I ever had a truly close friend and for unknown reasons above my intellect, he was called home to Heaven way too early. If this is my thinking, what do I believe a real friend is versus an acquaintance? A friend is someone who you can count on no matter what. You both will keep in touch, randomly reaching out just to say “hey”. It’s normal to be able to just drop in any time at his home and vice versa; always welcome. Either of you would do anything for the other as able.
It seems like everyone finds it so easy to call everyone they know “friend” to the point that it has lost a lot of its value and meaning. In my opinion, social media is a big part of the problem. “Friends” more times than not now are words on a mobile phone display; they’re not voices, genuine human interaction. Modern friendships are meme’s created by someone else, lacking any part of the personality or heart of the one sharing it. Friendships have become more virtual than real.
I have found myself analyzing points, turning them over and over in my mind. If you see certain people only at functions, i.e. a meeting, a benefit, and never hear from them otherwise, are they real friends or acquaintances? This creates more questions. If you had a vehicle break down on the side of the road or perhaps you ran out of gas, could you call them? If you did, would they help or would they be too busy? If you needed a ride, would they show up? If you needed someone to talk to, would they be available? Have you invited people over and they’ve always declined, been too busy, said “maybe” then didn’t show? Do you drive the distance every time to see them but you’re too far away for them to drive to? Being a real friend should not be one-sided but folks these days are so focused on themselves, instant gratification, material items, they forget to stop and notice the world around them.
There is a big difference between being a friend and being friendly. I tend to be friendly towards everyone I see but I am open to taking it a step further. If someone I barely know, or don’t know for that matter had something trying happening in their life and there was something I could do to help, I would. An example of helping a stranger would be seeing an article or a social media post about someone who I may know by face, or don’t know at all, seeing they are going thru something difficult, reaching out in some way to try to help. My wife is very much like this as well. It’s not unheard of for her to spend hours baking cookies or making homemade jelly and then bumping into someone and giving a bunch away. Just one true example which happens periodically; of course there are many other true examples. I’m not trying to toot my own horn or brag myself up. My mind is trying to make sense of things that will never add up.
Many people have their own groups/cliques they associate with. I know many people. Knowing a lot of people doesn’t mean one has a lot of friends if the only way you see them is by coincidence such as showing up for the same event. You can treat every person you ever see as a friend and still be alone in a crowd. Exceptions are family and fellow Veterans one has served with; pardon my redundancy as fellow Veterans I have served with will always be family. There’s a connection there that doesn’t fade, can’t fade.
I have pondered for a very long time, years, how some people are loaded with friends they hang out with, do things with, talk to regularly. Others treat everyone respectfully and are friendly to all but never seem to end up as part of a closeknit group, never hearing from anyone unless being the one who does the reaching out. Alas, I can count on one hand my true friends who will be there if needed. I propose that beyond all the little cliques, almost everyone is an acquaintance who is friendly to other acquaintances.
11/11/2025
Passing Thru Pondering Home 